Continued from Part 5
“You do know what those little blue pills were, don’t you?” I asked. “They were probably Viagra.”
“Arghh! Yuck! Gross and disgusting!” Her face pinched into a horrifying expression of nausea. “That explains it!”
“What?” I asked.
“About an hour after he took those pills, he started getting a little…” She hesitated. “Frisky.”
“What do you mean?”
“He started rubbing my back and saying things like ‘More rides! More fun!’”
“Then what happened?”
“It got worse; you know that ride that all the little kids use, the one where they pretend to drive a car around in a circle?”
“Yes. Don’t tell me…”
“Yes, he got on that ride. But it wasn’t a little car he drove. Oh no! He sat on top of a little Connecticut Transit bus. It was so embarrassing! His feet and legs tucked up in front of his chest and his hands around the steering wheel. Him and all the toddlers. But it got worse. After the ride started, he sang that song while riding around in a circle.”
“What song?” I wasn’t sure I wanted to here it. She broke out in song.
The wheels on the bus go round and round,
Round and round. Round and round.
The wheels on the bus go round and round,
But not to the town.
“People stared and laughed. And, that dinner we were supposed to go to? He took me to a concession stand! It wasn’t even a sit down one. We stood up around tables. He didn’t even have to pay! He got it free because he was staff! I don’t want to see him again!”
I knew I was in trouble. But maybe I could still salvage the relationship. “You know, Mollie,” I said, “if we clean him up and teach him some social skills he might just surprise you. You could have a nice little man there. You know, put a rug on his head and so on.
“And it not as if the men are beating down your door,” I added.
She hesitated. “Well, he got to clean himself up. But I don’t think you’ll be able to do it. And even if he did make himself presentable, he still needs to develop social skills and age appropriate behaviors. In fact, I think he’s so inept that I’ll make you a bet. You get him cleaned up and teach him some social skill and I’ll give him one more chance. But if you can’t, you will buy Progressive auto insurance from me. You have two weeks. Deal?’
“OK.” I knew I had my work cut out for me.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Letter to Chinese Ambassador Zhang Yesui
7/8/2010
Ambassador Zhang Yesui
Chinese Embassy Washington, DC
2201 Wisconsin Avenue, NW
Washington, DC 20007
Dear Ambassador Yesui:
I am writing on behalf of the citizens of the State of Connecticut and I have enclosed an open letter to Connecticut Transit located in Hartford, CT that is self-explanatory.
After reading this letter, I am sure you will agree that although Connecticut is a fine state overall, in terms of its public transportation it is a third world country.
I have come up with a possible solution to the problem that Connecticut faces concerning its public transportation system. It involves receiving the help of both China and India.
Regarding China’s role in helping Connecticut: I am requesting that you contact President Jiang Zemin of the People’s Republic of China. Could he please donate between 500 – 1000 rickshaw drivers to supplement Connecticut Transit routes? In addition to providing employment for some of your workers, we in Connecticut would be most grateful to the Chinese Government for their aid.
I estimate that of these 500 – 1000 drivers, 300- would be located in the Stamford, Greenwich and Darien areas. The rest would be distributed between Hartford and New Haven. These rickshaw drivers would transport Connecticut citizens to various locations around the area.
India’s role would be to send workers over to staff call centers. These call centers would coordinate rickshaw transfers, arrange pickups, routes etc. I will be contacting the Indian Government for their help as well.
I know that Commissioner Jeffery Parker of the Connecticut Department of Transportation located at 2800 Berlin turnpike, Newington, CT 06111, USA. (Telephone 00-1-860-594-2000) would be most appreciative. He is at his wits end trying to get the system functional.
Also Arthur L. Handman, Executive Director, Connecticut Transit 100 Leibert Road, Hartford, CT 06141-0006. (Telephone: 00-1-860-522-8101) is equally desperate.
Both of these men are anxiously waiting to hear from you.
Everyday, cars clog our highways spewing out noxious fumes. One is reminded of spice-laden camels raising clouds of dust and sand crossing the desert toward Cairo. One is reminded of produce-laden and donkey-drawn carts braying and brawling traveling past traffic-clogged cars.
One is also unfortunately reminded of the factory smokestacks of West Virginia and a coal-choked sky. Only instead of several large smokestacks, we in Connecticut face hundreds, if not thousands of tiny smokestacks from private vehicles. Fumes that if unchecked will surely drift to over the ocean to your country.
Thank you for your attention and I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Mel Hathorn
Cc:
Chancellor Angela Merkel, Berlin, Germany
Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, Rome, Italy
Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, Moscow, Russia
President Nicholas Sarkosy, Paris, France
Peter Hendy, Commissioner Transport for London
Mr. Richard Sarles, Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority
Jay Walder, CEO, NY Metropolitan Transit Authority
Jeffery Mullen, CEO, Boston MBTA
Commissioner, Joseph Marie, Connecticut Department of Transportation
Capital Region Council of Governments
Connecticut Fund for the Environment
Transit for Connecticut
Mayor Eddie Perez, City of Hartford
MetroHartford International Business Center
Vicki Shotland, Greater Hartford Transit District
Business For Downtown
Capital City Economic Development Authority
State Transportation Committee
Secretary Ray LaHood, Secretary US Department of Transportation
Congressman John Larsen
Senators Chris Dodd & Joe Lieberman
Representative Jim O’Rourke
Various businesses that may be concerned about these issues
www.authorsden.com/mel
Ambassador Zhang Yesui
Chinese Embassy Washington, DC
2201 Wisconsin Avenue, NW
Washington, DC 20007
Dear Ambassador Yesui:
I am writing on behalf of the citizens of the State of Connecticut and I have enclosed an open letter to Connecticut Transit located in Hartford, CT that is self-explanatory.
After reading this letter, I am sure you will agree that although Connecticut is a fine state overall, in terms of its public transportation it is a third world country.
I have come up with a possible solution to the problem that Connecticut faces concerning its public transportation system. It involves receiving the help of both China and India.
Regarding China’s role in helping Connecticut: I am requesting that you contact President Jiang Zemin of the People’s Republic of China. Could he please donate between 500 – 1000 rickshaw drivers to supplement Connecticut Transit routes? In addition to providing employment for some of your workers, we in Connecticut would be most grateful to the Chinese Government for their aid.
I estimate that of these 500 – 1000 drivers, 300- would be located in the Stamford, Greenwich and Darien areas. The rest would be distributed between Hartford and New Haven. These rickshaw drivers would transport Connecticut citizens to various locations around the area.
India’s role would be to send workers over to staff call centers. These call centers would coordinate rickshaw transfers, arrange pickups, routes etc. I will be contacting the Indian Government for their help as well.
I know that Commissioner Jeffery Parker of the Connecticut Department of Transportation located at 2800 Berlin turnpike, Newington, CT 06111, USA. (Telephone 00-1-860-594-2000) would be most appreciative. He is at his wits end trying to get the system functional.
Also Arthur L. Handman, Executive Director, Connecticut Transit 100 Leibert Road, Hartford, CT 06141-0006. (Telephone: 00-1-860-522-8101) is equally desperate.
Both of these men are anxiously waiting to hear from you.
Everyday, cars clog our highways spewing out noxious fumes. One is reminded of spice-laden camels raising clouds of dust and sand crossing the desert toward Cairo. One is reminded of produce-laden and donkey-drawn carts braying and brawling traveling past traffic-clogged cars.
One is also unfortunately reminded of the factory smokestacks of West Virginia and a coal-choked sky. Only instead of several large smokestacks, we in Connecticut face hundreds, if not thousands of tiny smokestacks from private vehicles. Fumes that if unchecked will surely drift to over the ocean to your country.
Thank you for your attention and I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Mel Hathorn
Cc:
Chancellor Angela Merkel, Berlin, Germany
Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, Rome, Italy
Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, Moscow, Russia
President Nicholas Sarkosy, Paris, France
Peter Hendy, Commissioner Transport for London
Mr. Richard Sarles, Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority
Jay Walder, CEO, NY Metropolitan Transit Authority
Jeffery Mullen, CEO, Boston MBTA
Commissioner, Joseph Marie, Connecticut Department of Transportation
Capital Region Council of Governments
Connecticut Fund for the Environment
Transit for Connecticut
Mayor Eddie Perez, City of Hartford
MetroHartford International Business Center
Vicki Shotland, Greater Hartford Transit District
Business For Downtown
Capital City Economic Development Authority
State Transportation Committee
Secretary Ray LaHood, Secretary US Department of Transportation
Congressman John Larsen
Senators Chris Dodd & Joe Lieberman
Representative Jim O’Rourke
Various businesses that may be concerned about these issues
www.authorsden.com/mel
Monday, July 5, 2010
Women in White part 5
WOMEN IN WHITE PART 5
The next morning I waited at the coffee shop for Mollie. I was anxious to see how her evening went. Mollie stormed into the shop slamming the door behind her. Cups on various tables around the room rattled.
Her eyes were dark, stormy and reflected the fury of a scorned woman. As she stomped across the room, she slammed herself in the chair opposite me. It was through clenched teeth that she muttered something that I was unable to pick up. I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear it.
“Coffee?” I asked.
“No thank you.” Her voice brimmed with coldness and disgust. “How could you do that to me? The only good thing about last night is at least I didn’t have to take Connecticut Transit to get there.” Mollie’s hell-like fury was not that of a scorned woman reflecting the fifth circle of Dante’s Inferno, but rather she expressed the heat of the ninth circle, that holds the hottest flames.
“What do you mean?”
“First of all, that sexy bald head you told me about? Like Telly Savalas? He was bald all right but his head was sunburned, peeling with flakes of skin falling on his shoulders. I would of thought it was dandruff, except he didn’t have any hair. And that dark suit? It hadn’t been cleaned in 30 years. It had mustard and ketchup stains and grease form all those rides.”
“Look, I know he needs a little cleaning up, but…”
“His voice…he kept perseverating, he kept saying, ‘More rides! More Fun!’ He wouldn’t shut up. He stank like a damp moldy swamp on a hot day. And to make it worse he tried to cover it up, not by bathing, but by excessive bay rum. Then he acted like I was his nurse.”
“What do you mean?”
“When he saw that rhinestone brooch…”
“Please don’t tell me you wore the Scarlet Letter,” I interrupted.
“Why shouldn’t I wear it? I won it! I’m proud of it!”
“What happened?”
“He asked if I would get him a cup of water while he took his medication.”
“Sammy’s on meds? What were they?”
“I don’t know; just that the pills were little blue ones. He took six or seven of them.”
To be continued
The next morning I waited at the coffee shop for Mollie. I was anxious to see how her evening went. Mollie stormed into the shop slamming the door behind her. Cups on various tables around the room rattled.
Her eyes were dark, stormy and reflected the fury of a scorned woman. As she stomped across the room, she slammed herself in the chair opposite me. It was through clenched teeth that she muttered something that I was unable to pick up. I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear it.
“Coffee?” I asked.
“No thank you.” Her voice brimmed with coldness and disgust. “How could you do that to me? The only good thing about last night is at least I didn’t have to take Connecticut Transit to get there.” Mollie’s hell-like fury was not that of a scorned woman reflecting the fifth circle of Dante’s Inferno, but rather she expressed the heat of the ninth circle, that holds the hottest flames.
“What do you mean?”
“First of all, that sexy bald head you told me about? Like Telly Savalas? He was bald all right but his head was sunburned, peeling with flakes of skin falling on his shoulders. I would of thought it was dandruff, except he didn’t have any hair. And that dark suit? It hadn’t been cleaned in 30 years. It had mustard and ketchup stains and grease form all those rides.”
“Look, I know he needs a little cleaning up, but…”
“His voice…he kept perseverating, he kept saying, ‘More rides! More Fun!’ He wouldn’t shut up. He stank like a damp moldy swamp on a hot day. And to make it worse he tried to cover it up, not by bathing, but by excessive bay rum. Then he acted like I was his nurse.”
“What do you mean?”
“When he saw that rhinestone brooch…”
“Please don’t tell me you wore the Scarlet Letter,” I interrupted.
“Why shouldn’t I wear it? I won it! I’m proud of it!”
“What happened?”
“He asked if I would get him a cup of water while he took his medication.”
“Sammy’s on meds? What were they?”
“I don’t know; just that the pills were little blue ones. He took six or seven of them.”
To be continued
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Letter to Bernard Bulche
7/3/2010
Bernard Bulcke
Permanent Representative to the European Union
Rue de la Loi 61-63
1040 Brussels,
Belgium
Dear Representative Bulcke:
Guten morgen. Sprechen sie Duetsch nicht. I do not speak German very well so please forgive me.
I have enclosed an open letter to Connecticut Transit located in Hartford, CT, USA that is self-explanatory.
Because of the issues raised in the letter and because we all know that the European Transit system is one of the most efficient in the world, I am asking if you could help us in Connecticut to upgrade our inefficient transit system. Could you arrange to place on the agenda of the next meeting of the Council of Ministers of the European Union the two items listed below?
1. Send staff over to run a series of workshops for Connecticut Transit to help them get it right. In other words, could your staff consult with CT Transit to help them learn how to upgrade the Connecticut transportation system?
2. Another option in lieu of sending staff would be to sponsor a series of “live-aid concerts.” These concerts would raise money to revamp and upgrade the CT transportation system. Imagine U-2—the band, not your metro line—performing.
I know that Commissioner Jeffery Parker of the Connecticut Department of Transportation located at 2800 Berlin turnpike, Newington, CT 06111, USA. (Telephone 00-1-860-594-2000) would be most appreciative. He is at his wits end trying to get the system functional.
Also Arthur L. Handman, Executive Director, Connecticut Transit 100 Leibert Road, Hartford, CT 06141-0006. (Telephone: 00-1-860-522-8101) is equally desperate.
Both of these men are anxiously waiting to hear from you.
Everyday, cars clog our highways spewing out noxious fumes. One is reminded of spice-laden camels raising clouds of dust and sand crossing the desert toward Cairo. One is reminded of produce-laden and donkey-drawn carts braying and brawling traveling past traffic-clogged cars.
One is also unfortunately reminded of the factory smokestacks of West Virginia and a coal-choked sky. Only instead of several large smokestacks, we in Connecticut face hundreds, if not thousands of tiny smokestacks from private vehicles. Fumes that if unchecked will surely drift to over the ocean to your country.
Thank you for your attention and I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Mel Hathorn
Cc:
Chancellor Angela Merkel, Berlin, Germany
Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, Rome, Italy
Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, Moscow, Russia
President Nicholas Sarkosy, Paris, France
Peter Hendy, Commissioner Transport for London
Mr. Richard Sarles, Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority
Jay Walder, CEO, NY Metropolitan Transit Authority
Jeffery Mullen, CEO, Boston MBTA
Commissioner, Joseph Marie, Connecticut Department of Transportation
Capital Region Council of Governments
Connecticut Fund for the Environment
Transit for Connecticut
Mayor Eddie Perez, City of Hartford
MetroHartford International Business Center
Vicki Shotland, Greater Hartford Transit District
Business For Downtown
Capital City Economic Development Authority
State Transportation Committee
Secretary Ray LaHood, Secretary US Department of Transportation
Congressman John Larsen
Senators Chris Dodd & Joe Lieberman
Representative Jim O’Rourke
Various businesses that may be concerned about these issues
www.authorsden.com/mel
Bernard Bulcke
Permanent Representative to the European Union
Rue de la Loi 61-63
1040 Brussels,
Belgium
Dear Representative Bulcke:
Guten morgen. Sprechen sie Duetsch nicht. I do not speak German very well so please forgive me.
I have enclosed an open letter to Connecticut Transit located in Hartford, CT, USA that is self-explanatory.
Because of the issues raised in the letter and because we all know that the European Transit system is one of the most efficient in the world, I am asking if you could help us in Connecticut to upgrade our inefficient transit system. Could you arrange to place on the agenda of the next meeting of the Council of Ministers of the European Union the two items listed below?
1. Send staff over to run a series of workshops for Connecticut Transit to help them get it right. In other words, could your staff consult with CT Transit to help them learn how to upgrade the Connecticut transportation system?
2. Another option in lieu of sending staff would be to sponsor a series of “live-aid concerts.” These concerts would raise money to revamp and upgrade the CT transportation system. Imagine U-2—the band, not your metro line—performing.
I know that Commissioner Jeffery Parker of the Connecticut Department of Transportation located at 2800 Berlin turnpike, Newington, CT 06111, USA. (Telephone 00-1-860-594-2000) would be most appreciative. He is at his wits end trying to get the system functional.
Also Arthur L. Handman, Executive Director, Connecticut Transit 100 Leibert Road, Hartford, CT 06141-0006. (Telephone: 00-1-860-522-8101) is equally desperate.
Both of these men are anxiously waiting to hear from you.
Everyday, cars clog our highways spewing out noxious fumes. One is reminded of spice-laden camels raising clouds of dust and sand crossing the desert toward Cairo. One is reminded of produce-laden and donkey-drawn carts braying and brawling traveling past traffic-clogged cars.
One is also unfortunately reminded of the factory smokestacks of West Virginia and a coal-choked sky. Only instead of several large smokestacks, we in Connecticut face hundreds, if not thousands of tiny smokestacks from private vehicles. Fumes that if unchecked will surely drift to over the ocean to your country.
Thank you for your attention and I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Mel Hathorn
Cc:
Chancellor Angela Merkel, Berlin, Germany
Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, Rome, Italy
Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, Moscow, Russia
President Nicholas Sarkosy, Paris, France
Peter Hendy, Commissioner Transport for London
Mr. Richard Sarles, Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority
Jay Walder, CEO, NY Metropolitan Transit Authority
Jeffery Mullen, CEO, Boston MBTA
Commissioner, Joseph Marie, Connecticut Department of Transportation
Capital Region Council of Governments
Connecticut Fund for the Environment
Transit for Connecticut
Mayor Eddie Perez, City of Hartford
MetroHartford International Business Center
Vicki Shotland, Greater Hartford Transit District
Business For Downtown
Capital City Economic Development Authority
State Transportation Committee
Secretary Ray LaHood, Secretary US Department of Transportation
Congressman John Larsen
Senators Chris Dodd & Joe Lieberman
Representative Jim O’Rourke
Various businesses that may be concerned about these issues
www.authorsden.com/mel
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