Women in White Part 6

Continued from Part 5

“You do know what those little blue pills were, don’t you?” I asked. “They were probably Viagra.”

“Arghh! Yuck! Gross and disgusting!” Her face pinched into a horrifying expression of nausea. “That explains it!”

“What?” I asked.

“About an hour after he took those pills, he started getting a little…” She hesitated. “Frisky.”

“What do you mean?”

“He started rubbing my back and saying things like ‘More rides! More fun!’”

“Then what happened?”

“It got worse; you know that ride that all the little kids use, the one where they pretend to drive a car around in a circle?”

“Yes. Don’t tell me…”

“Yes, he got on that ride. But it wasn’t a little car he drove. Oh no! He sat on top of a little Connecticut Transit bus. It was so embarrassing! His feet and legs tucked up in front of his chest and his hands around the steering wheel. Him and all the toddlers. But it got worse. After the ride started, he sang that song while riding around in a circle.”

“What song?” I wasn’t sure I wanted to here it. She broke out in song.

The wheels on the bus go round and round,
Round and round. Round and round.
The wheels on the bus go round and round,
But not to the town.

“People stared and laughed. And, that dinner we were supposed to go to? He took me to a concession stand! It wasn’t even a sit down one. We stood up around tables. He didn’t even have to pay! He got it free because he was staff! I don’t want to see him again!”

I knew I was in trouble. But maybe I could still salvage the relationship. “You know, Mollie,” I said, “if we clean him up and teach him some social skills he might just surprise you. You could have a nice little man there. You know, put a rug on his head and so on.

“And it not as if the men are beating down your door,” I added.

She hesitated. “Well, he got to clean himself up. But I don’t think you’ll be able to do it. And even if he did make himself presentable, he still needs to develop social skills and age appropriate behaviors. In fact, I think he’s so inept that I’ll make you a bet. You get him cleaned up and teach him some social skill and I’ll give him one more chance. But if you can’t, you will buy Progressive auto insurance from me. You have two weeks. Deal?’

“OK.” I knew I had my work cut out for me.