Woman in White Part 2

Women in White Part 2

Slowly, oh so slowly, I trudged up the hill to my home. After a day on the road, I wanted nothing more than to relax over a glass of wine. I rounded the corner and saw to my dismay her!

It was the woman in white, Mollie from Progressive Auto Insurance. She had been showing up sporadically at my front door. Oh No! I thought. Another hassle with Mollie.

I approached the door. Mollie stood outside holding a broom that I had been using to sweep the stoop earlier that day. She tapped the broom on the steps spreading the already worn-out bristles.

She glared and snarled. “I see you’ve been out all day with that blue-streaked hussy. I spend hours waiting for you and you’re gone all day spending time with her! How could you be with her when she sells her self. She even paints ads all over her.”

“But I …”

She crossed her arms and tapped her foot. “Mel,” she said, “I think it is time you made a commitment.” A beat.

Oh God! The C word.

“I don’t think I’ve had enough time yet to commit.,” I answered. “How can I commit? It’s too soon to buy Progressive Auto Insurance. I haven’t even gotten my car yet.”

“Well, if you weren’t so cheap, you’d get a car and than you wouldn’t have to spend all that time with that painted street-crawler, that Connecticut Transit bus. Than you could spend more time with Progressive.”

Being with this woman was like being in a Broadway musical. The devil made me do it. I couldn’t help it. I broke out into a song:

When the whippoorwills call, and evening is nigh,
I hurry to my blue heaven.

A turn to the right, and an ugly sight,
Will greet you in my blue heaven.

You’ll see a tattered rug, a frightening mug,
And a dreary room.

And a dizzy dame that wipes my frame,
With a worn-out broom.

Just Mollie and me, and Progressive makes three.
We’ll battle in my blue heaven.

I had to get Mollie off my back. But how? Then I had an idea.

To be continued…